Silicon Slave | Product Review | SiliconSlave Oh Kerry

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SiliconSlave Oh Kerry

Parody Massage Wand of Presidential Hopeful John Kerry with Vibrating Action

Category:

Massagers and Wands - Cordless

MSRP:

$49.95 (Batteries not included), shipping extra.

Availability:

Very limited availability due to hand-crafted and hand-painted nature of toy. Available through SiliconSlave and eBay auction (limited number of auctions).

Supplier:

ToyTek Media (www.toytek.com)

Warranty:

We test each toy before it ships and package it such that it should not arrive DOA. Insurance on shipment can be purchased (ask). Due to the nature of how this product could be used and its hand-crafted nature, we can not accept returns. Would you want to inspect returns of this nature?

	Full Product Review
Reviewer: Drew "Dr. Phreakenstein" Williams (Read Bio)

Review Date:

10/18/2004

Dimension:

8 Inches Tall, 1.75 Inches for Shaft, 2.25 Inches at Widest Portion of Head

Texture:

Smooth and Glossy with Appropriate Facial and Body Contours

Power Supply:

2 AA Batteries

Battery Life:

2-4 Hours of Casual Use

Action:

Vibrating, Massaging Action

Noise:

Muffled Vibration Noises

Aesthetics:

If Kerry could be reincarnated as a massage wand, this would be it. Accurately modelled for your pleasure.

Packaging:

Minimal packaging designed to get it safely and dicretely to customers with minimum added cost.

Documentation:

Add batteries according to polarity on controller. Turn dial and use as desired.

Cleaning:

Mild soap and water can be used on the shaft, controller is not waterproof so a wet wipe or similar minimally wet cleaning cloth could be used.


Click an image below to see it full size

Looking for Presidential hopeful John Kerry to take a firm stand on something? So were we. We finally struck upon something as the election campaign continued. John Kerry has some strong facial features; what if that mouth, nose, and ears could be put to some use? Then it hit us; Kerry would make a great massage wand and hence the Oh Kerry was born. Combine the facial features, vibrating action, and form-factor and you have a completely unique massage experience.

Think John Kerry is a little dull and less then stimulating? SiliconSlave's Oh Kerry Massage Wand will certainly give you a whole new exciting outlook. Want to simulate some Kerry style foreign policy? Crank the dial and let the Oh Kerry Massage Wand vibrate away your problems. Looking for a little extra stimulation? The Oh Kerry nose and chin have been carefully constructed to make a statement sure to stimulate the most sensitive areas of your partner.

The construction of the Oh Kerry uses non-toxic resin, non-toxic paint, and non-toxic clear-coat - similar to those found in children�s toys. The Oh Kerry also contains a water proof vibrating mechanism similar to those found in adult sex toys (vibrators and eggs). The shaft is considered water resistant and can be gently washed under a tap. Take care not to soak the toy�s control mechanism (battery case with dial) in water as the controller is definitely not water resistant. The toy is designed as a parody novelty item. Use of the toy in any manner other then for display purposes is completely at your own risk. Human internal use is NOT recommended, but it is a free country and if you are crazy enough to purchase this item then who knows what use you could put it to despite our intentions and warnings�

Since every Oh Kerry Massage Wand is hand-made and hand-painted, each toy will be unique. It is also hard for us to keep these products in stock (Would you want a warehouse full of Oh Kerry Massage Wands?) so each Oh Kerry is made to order. It takes time to cast, cure, paint, assemble, and test each Oh Kerry so expect to wait two to four weeks for your order to ship. Since construction starts when we receive your order, so does billing. No refunds or cancellations can be accepted once an order is placed. Due to the way some may use the product (despite our warnings) NO returns will be refunded or accepted (would you want to inspect a returned product of this type?).

Since this is a SiliconSlave product, we can not give it a completely unbiased review, so we will give it an average rating (7) and try to describe it as accurately as possible.

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Copyright: Using the SiliconSlave mark and other ToyTek Media LLC. intellectual property such as logos, slogans, trade dress, and graphic symbols on packaging, products, or services requires express written permission from ToyTek Media LLC..Use of confusingly similar or disparaging terms is a violation of our intellectual property rights. ©2003 - 2007, ToyTek Media LLC., All Rights Reserved.Direct all website question to the Webmaster
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